Outdated posts...

I have a bunch of unpublished posts that for years, apparently, I have been meaning to finish. I'm just going to publish them! Here goes #1:

Circa 2012: How do I write an update on Miles in just one blog post? His personality grows exponentially. He is kind, sensitive, perceptive, and funny. He loves bikes, sharks, volcanoes, and Strawberry Shortcake (a recent find on Netflix).

Crazy kids

It's time, once again, for Milesisms. And I am adding the first installment of "Miaisms." Scroll to the end of this post for lots and lots of quotes. 

MIAISMS

"Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, etc.," with a little upward inflection, a la the seagulls in Finding Nemo. 

She also loves playing tag and wrestling with Miles, even though she usually loses. She can't get enough of her brother.

She loves throwing things away--especially her own diapers. 

She thinks it's funny to slide around the room with her back against the wall. 

She has mastered the stairs and will turn around and slide down when she is wearing her coat.

She dances to P90-X (exercise video). See related Milesism below.

Who can resist a photo with a kid in a crazy wig, or at bath time, or while wearing an improvised scuba mask? 

The other day, Miles snuck into our closet and taped used boarding passes onto Matt's shirt (see above). Later that evening he asked what Matt planned to wear the next day. Matt said, "My dark-blue shirt." Miles said, "why not the light-blue shirt?," never letting on that he had equipped it with secret powers that let flight attendants know he was nice and would have a safe flight. 

Although Mia throws away most of her own diapers, Miles comes to the rescue for the poopers. Before throwing out an especially fragrant diaper, he ran out of the room and came back with his nose taped closed.

Although I attempt bows and girly things, Mia, as you can see above, prefers jeans to ruffles. I did not buy the pink tutu, by the way, it was a gift. I love her in the Czech national costume (below) that my mom made. Since she is my daughter, she is one-quarter Czech.

MILESISMS
A woman in our church who often speaks and usually cries when she speaks gave a talk today. About two minutes in, Miles turned to Matt and, surprised and serious, said, "Dad, she's not even emotional today!"

After Miles used the master bathroom I asked if he'd flushed the toilet. "Nope, but I'll do it in here (the main bathroom)!"

"Let's not wear shoes; it's overwhelming."

Miles had been in bed for about 30 minutes and was restless. Matt lay down with him. After a minute or so Miles said, "I smell ice cream!" And it was true; he smelled it on Matt's breath. And now he knows that when kids go to bed, adults eat ice cream.

"It makes a lovely Thanksgiving with all of you two around."

After we divvied out the mail: "Does everyone have a kid named 'Resident'?"

"It's our first day of snow. Oh, what a joy!"

Anna was talking with a friend about P90-X, a set of exercise videos. Miles chimed right in: "Have you tried Ab Ripper? Don't try it, it's painful! I prefer Core Synergistics."

Miles packed his Elmo suitcase and told us we were going to North Africa to explore ruins. "Ancient ruins can teach us a lot about the people who lived there," he said. The contents of his suitcase included, among other things: two clip-on ties, pjs, books, and his blue blanket.

"What are you doing on earth up so early, Mom?"

"You would grow really fast if you had a birthday once a week."

First thing he said to me when he woke up this morning: "Mom! Do you want to hear about my dream?" Of course I said "yes." "I was on a water slide that lasted 13 days!"

As he was clearing the dishwasher and I was making a smoothie: "While the blender was on, I told myself I'd never do this when I was an adult."

"Great knot, Mom! That's what I call a worm wrangler."

"You'll have to go to bed really early tonight, Mom. We're having a boys' party to celebrate (long pause) Heavenly Mother's birthday."

Reading a book with Matt that had letters listed like this: Aa, Bb, Cc, etc. "Look, Dad, two virgins. An upper-case virgin, and a lower-case virgin."

When talking about not telling Matt what we got him for Christmas: "I know it, but I'll keep it out of my brain, so I don't know what it is."

"I want to be a doctor AND a volunteer fireman so I can rescue kids and if their finger burns off, I can get them a new metal one."

Halloween 2011

Kids make Halloween magical; and "magical" is not a word I just throw around. It all started with some homemade decorations (thanks, Pinterest, for all the ideas). Miles and I spent many happy hours creating these ditties:

We had fun hunting in the woods behind our house for just the right branch for the Halloween tree. While hiking around, Miles was proud to show me the trail he and Matt have been working on. The luminaries look more colorful when it's light. A great use for old jars. Okay, the banner was more of a mom project...

Next came a pre-Halloween party at the Shuley's. Mia, while barely tolerating her costume, still manage to look extremely cute. Miles got to debut the first costume Matt and I have made. It's missing a key element. Can you guess what he is?

A pumpkin patch with the Parkinson's came next. I spy... two babies in the wagon. The day was perfect, the rolling hills of Kentucky were at their finest, the kids got along, and everyone got a free apple to eat on the way home. Thank goodness for the "hanatizer" between the petting zoo (aka sheep and goat zoo) and the apples.

Next came came a chili cook off and hayride at the Nelson farm. (After a trip to Lowe's, the missing element was added to Miles' costume.)

And the actual day arrived! Pumpkin carving, trick-or-treating, and candy eating topped off the holiday.

While we were eating our pumpkin-chocolate chip pancakes Miles sighed and said, "I sure wish dad were here to eat some of these, too." Mia didn't care for the chocolate. Oh, she will learn...

Pumpkin-carving quote: "Mom, I don't care for this task," as he was scooping out the seeds.

Pre-trick-or-treating quote from Miles as he walked out of his room, jingling a few coins in his hand: "I have so much money, I'm gonna pay for my candy this year!"

Between dinner and suiting up, Miles forgot about paying for the candy, but he was very generous with his "thank yous." He was also generous with his booty, sharing with us all along they way.

Thanks to Miles, Mia got her first taste of Skittles. By the time I figured out she had something in her mouth, the Skittle was an elongated, colorless lump. I let her finish. She was very happy. And so was her brother. And so was her dad, who swiped all her candy, plus a good portion of Miles'. It's for their own good, right?

Post trick-or-treating quote: "Everyone loved my costume! I am so happy! Now I get to have my tonsils out!"

Milesisms

Miles and I were driving in the car. I was trying to engage him by playing the opposite game. After a couple of rounds Miles pauses and said, "Mom, you can just focus on your driving."

Out of the blue, "Why do magicians have canes, if they're not old and don't have wrinkles?" Good question, Miles.

"Dear Heavenly Father: Thank you for the food. Thank you for the beautiful music from the CDs. Please bless the world, that it won't fall apart while we're living on it..."

Anna: "Ah! There's a mosquito in the house!"
Miles: "Dead or alive, Mom, dead or alive?!"

"Mom, my bum itches, and when I scratch it, it doesn't even feel better."

Miles: "Why are babies not big as adults?"
Anna: "Because they have to grow in their moms' tummies. If they were as big as adults, just imagine!"
Miles: "Yeah, that would hurt! Good thing men don't have babies."

Miles has a renewed interest in his baby doll, whom he named "Volcano." Volcano rides around in the Baby Bjorn, eats with us at the table, takes naps at regular intervals, and is genuinely loved. Miles said this about him the other day, "My baby cries when we leave but when we come back--snap crack!--he stops crying."

When Matt let slip a bad word: "Dad, crap is another word for poo."

Miles to Mia: "You are going to be such a little firebomb when you grow up."

Miles to Matt: "Let's go to the Polynesian CULtural center, where they sell coal."

Miles: "True or false: Heaven is in the sky?"
Anna: "I'm not sure, it's a mystery."
Miles: "And we've gotta solve it, and see if there are any footprints from Jesus."

Mia is teething. During Miles' prayer, he asked that Mia's teeth "push softly."

"When I cough really hard, there are tears in my eyes without crying."

His mother's son, after seeing a butterfly:
Miles: "It's black and orange, so it must be a monar-d."
Anna: "Yep, but it's actually called a monar-ch."
Miles: "No, it's monar-d. I saw it on Diego."
Anna: "It really is monar-ch."
Miles: "No, it's monar-d. I know I'm right."

The conversation continued. We agreed to disagree. It's scary how simliar we are. Hopefully, it's not too late to steer him away from that stubborn streak!

More Milesisms

Miles is a talker, and he's been on a roll lately. Here are several of the best quotes, of late (don't feel that you have to read them all):

To his grandma: "If you eat more and exercise with me, you will grow bigger, and then you won't have to stand on your tippy toes."

A conversation with Matt over the first star of the night:
Matt: Make a wish, Miles.
Miles: I wish for a new dad.
Matt: Why?
Miles: I love you so much, I want two dads.

"They say... that if you close your eyes and fall down the stairs, you won't break your arm."

While looking through the fridge after watching our homemade, vinegar/baking soada volcano erupt: "Let's try something more impressive!"

"Mom, I love you more than ice cream."

Matt and I hear a big crash in the other room. Miles yells, "I'm okay! It wasn't a hard landing." Speaking of hard landings, he said this after dropping a toy iron, gouging a chunk out of the wood floor:
Anna: are you okay Miles?
Miles: Yeah. I'm tough. I don't cry.
Matt: How's the floor?
Miles: It's hard.

I finally bought a book so I can have a central place for Miles' quotes, instead of jotting them down on scraps of paper. I was describing it to him:
Anna: This is Miles' quote book, in case he says anything cute.
Miles: Mom, you're cute. Write THAT down.

While running his fingers through my hair at bed time: "Mom, your hair is kinda crunchy."

"Mia just gargled, 'I love you!'"

After watching Charlotte's Web: "I don't want to die because I just want you to hold me forever!" I think we'll stick to films with lighter subjects for now...

Matt: Are you ready to go to the store?
Miles: First I have to look at the news and see if there's anything on sale."

On a Saturday afternoon:
Miles: Do you know the 4th of July is Heavenly Father's birthday?
Anna: I didn't know that.
Miles: Yep, I learned that in primary today.

While eating cantaloupe: "Sorry I'm wiping my face with my shirt."

Declared while examining a bowel movement: "It looks like a jet airplane, and it shoots lotion at people."